or: A guide to managing your internal weathers chemically.
Note: I'm excluding Schedule I drugs such as marijuana, heroin, cocaine, X, and crystal
meth. Those probably deserve — and will probably get — independent guides all to themselves.
'drines:Cylert (
Pemoline) Abbott Laboratories.
Usage: Treats
ADHD.
Most interesting side effects: Depression, hallucinations, hepatitis and other liver problems, increased irritability, involuntary,
fragmented movements of the face, eyes, lips, tongue, arms, and legs,
suppressed growth,
uncontrolled vocal outbursts such as grunts, shouts, and obscene language.
Notes: No longer available in the U.S. due to association w/ life threatening hepatic failure (but probably still available at
IJ’s time of writing). Although, Abbott maintains that
falling sales were the reason for discontinuation.
Schedule IVTenuate (
diethylpropion hydrochloride) Multiple distributors. Structural analogue of
Wellbutrin.
Usage: Prescription weight-loss. Anorectic CNS
rattler.
Most interesting side effects:
breast development in males, bruising, changes in sex drive, tremors, unpleasant taste, feelings of discomfort, feelings of elation, feeling of illness, hair loss.
Notes:
Habit forming. Favorite of
Michael Pemulis and Jim Troeltsch.
Schedule IVFastin (
phentermine hydrochloride)
GSK PharmUsage: Appetite suppression. Weight loss.
Most interesting side effects: periods of mania followed by period of depression,
feeling like you might pass out, unusual thoughts or behavior, feeling restless or confused, dangerously high blood pressure.
Notes: Don't be fooled by the
crunchy herbal version.
Schedule IVPreludin (
Phenmetrazine)
a.k.a Sweeties. Discontinued.Usage: appetite suppressant, stimulates satiety center in
hypothalamic and
limbic regions.
Most interesting side effects:
psychosis similar to that of amphetamine with long term use.
Notes: Favored by Bridget Boone, Swedes, Germans, and
The Beatles. Eric Clapton wrote a song called '
Preludin Fugue'. High potential for abuse and creative songwriting.
Schedule IIRitalin (
methylphenidate)
a.k.a. Vitamin R, R-Ball, Smart Drug. Novartis, previously
CIBA pharmaceutical.
Usage: Treatment of
ADHD, narcolepsy, methamphetamine addiction, developmental disorders, cramming for finals.
Most interesting side effects: hearing voices, visual hallucinations, urges to harm oneself, severe anxiety, euphoria,
grandiosity, paranoid delusions, confusion.
Notes: High potential for abuse similar to cocaine.
Schedule IIISeldane (
Terfenadine)
a.k.a. the tactical nuclear weapon of nondrowsy antihistamines and mucoidal desiccators. Aventis PharmUsage: allergic conditions, antihistamine,
mucoidal desiccator.
Most interesting side effects: ventricular tachycardia,
torsades de pointes.
Notes: Toxicity is possible when mixed with
grapefruit. Favored by Jim
Troeltsch. Would have helped
Guillaume DuPlessis more than the
codeineless NyQuil.
Banned by FDA.
Look for Part II covering tranqs sometime in the future. Oral narcotics and antidepressants also coming later.
Also, I am constraining this to the Infinite Summer Spoiler Line, so this section may expand later.